On May 1st, I began working with a group of amazing women in a 6 month coaching program focused on personal development – tapping into their purpose and passion to live a life of joy and fulfillment through achieving their biggest goals.
The first module talked about self-care.
This topic can be sensitive for some people because it can be equated, at times, to being selfish. Is taking time away from others to take time for yourself appropriate? Where do you draw the line in being someone who puts the priorities of others before your own?
At the Get RADICAL Women’s Conference in March, Lisa Nichols gave an amazing illustration during her keynote to demonstrate what it means to exhibit self care and why it’s one of the most important aspects of living a life of contentment and fulfillment we can have.
Having a cup in her hand, Lisa said that most of us serve and give to others from our full cup – depleting it as we do. Then, we MAY take some time to do some self-care to fill our cups back up, but just as we reach the top, we begin to give again – to our families, jobs, businesses or communities. At some point, we begin to lose ground, giving and giving without having fully refilled ourselves.
The solution? Never serve from a full cup.
When you are “full”, that is actually NOT the time to start giving. You should continue in the realm of self care so that your cup can begin to run over – so that you can experience overflow. THAT is the time you begin to serve. You give, not from your cup, but from what’s “running over” from your full cup. This philosophy allows you to be at your best AND give your best.
When we continually deplete our cup by giving without refilling to overflow, we become tired, frustrated, angry, resentful, aggravated, upset, unfulfilled, annoyed, bitter, fed up, restless, impatient, exasperated, discouraged, hopeless, disheartened, easily irritated and short tempered.
If you are experiencing any of these emotions – with yourself, those closest to you or with your job or business, check your cup. If you are constantly pouring out more than you are pouring in, it’s time for some self care.
It is not selfish to put yourself first so that your cup can overflow. It’s actually one of the most responsible positions you can put yourself in. It will only make you better to those around you. A better wife, husband, mother, father, boss, co-worker, leader, volunteer, sister, brother, friend, grandmother, daughter, son, granddaughter or grandson.
Here are 5 ways to begin self-care IMMEDIATELY.
1. Say No. Stop doing things that drain your energy, are out of alignment with your intentions, goals and purpose and that leave you feeling more irritated at the the thought of it than a sense of contribution and joy.
2. Schedule Consistent Time For Your Favorite Hobbies. 5 minutes, an hour, a day, a week – whatever you can do. If you don’t have any hobbies, spend this time exploring different interests to see what sparks excitement for you.
3. Journal, Meditate, Relax. Allow yourself time to get clarity about where you should focus your energy, time, and resources. To better understand what, or who, you should give your precious time to. Seek to connect with your internal GPS system.
4. Rearrange Your “Plate”. If your plate is “full” – remember that it’s YOUR plate. You can take stuff off you don’t like or don’t want. You can add stuff that you do like. You can keep other people from putting stuff on your plate and you can stop people from taking it off.
5. Ask For Help. Take off your superhero cape and take a break being all things to all people. Delegate, ask for help, assign chores. Engage the support of others.
What do you think about self care? Leave a comment to share your thoughts.
 RADICAL Success Coach Doreen Rainey is the founder of the RADICAL Success Institute and the annual Get RADICAL Women’s Conference.
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About Doreen
Absolutely true! All of those aspects are important components in working with clients to help them achieve the results they want.
Many coaching courses mainly focus on simply changing behaviors and goal-setting (both important as part of coaching), but I believe coaching should create transformational change at the level of beliefs, values, perspective and purpose.